i have an announcement
this week a major incident reportedly took place at sea, during which Colin Powell captured my battleship.
Oh yeah, and we also raidified that stupid North Korean boat as well.
As a result, the North Korean leader, Kim Jong, announcified that he would be resumerating their nuclear program.
A program I condemn, because it threatens to de-salinate the region.
And also because it's a program that has not once featured the Fonz.
But be warned, King Kong.
Like others before you, should you threaten New York by climbing the Empire State Building, then my fleet of bi-planes will have no choice but to oblitifry you from the face of the Earth.
speaking of which
King Kong is small these days man. King Kong is like, 5'10 I like my King Kong big. I like my Donkey Kong small and my King Kong big. I'm old school.
just like the new ninja turtles
i watched that shit the other day and goddamn man
they got all this new new technology and splinter was a different fucking colour
no wonder kids these days are so messed up
Some kid asked me asked me the other day what i thought
well you're really asking three questions there
the first takes me back to 1805
there i was up on the podium
'My fellow umbrella stands.' i said
I know many of you will be astonisherated that the former Iraqer Defence Minister Sultan Akhmed, who surrendered in Mousehole on Friday, will not be charged with war crimes.
But there is a very good reason why the CIA has granted Sultana Bran immunity from prostitution and that is because he has promised to lead us to Saddarm's weapons of mass destruction. What he has already told us about their location explains why we haven't found them. Turns out we've been looking in completely the wrong place.
He says to find Saddarm's penguins of mass destruction my troops must first cross Jezaloor Gorge then press deep into the Fanghorn Forest. Beyonce that lies the Bridge of Kazad-dum and the fiery mount of McMordor where he says our quest will be at an end. Just as soon as we find this Gandalf guy, we're all set!
the second reminds me of the time I took the fairy to Shelbyville.
I needed a new heel for my shoe so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days.
So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter you'd say. Now where were we, oh ya. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because if the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones.
I also had a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub
i loved my washtub. I just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking bird. We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, and yams stuffed with gunpowder.
Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called baseball
The third story begins in 19 dickety two. We had to say dickety 'cause that Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety six miles.
anyway, once upon a time there was a naughty, dirty little girl who sang and danced her way to the top.
She didn't care who she was horrid to in order to get famous. She even did a nude book where she showed her vixen toilet parts to everyone, and depicted scenes of depravity with young and old gay boys and girls licking and poking her.
When she grew up she realized she didn't want her own children to read this smut or to see her on stage twirling her nipples and grinding with a man dressed as the Pope.
One day a big wise rabbit called Philip Berg hopped up to her and suggested that she should study the ancient mystic and esoteric knowledge of the first five books of Moses and explore a path to fulfillment via spiritual and scientific laws of the universe that govern the cosmos and the human soul.
And so she did.
She set about repenting and making herself a better person. She washed out her filthy mouth and the words motherfucker, cocksucker and cunt never passed her lips again.
She thanked the big rabbit and all his creed and asked how she could show the world that she was now a new and spiritually clean person called Enid He gave her a $26 red friendship bracelet, available at blahblahla.com and a catalog for further merchandise.
This is a true story, and if you don't believe me, go fuck yourself san diego
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Are We still capable of mental evolution
So in this current day and age when we're supposedly at the peak of human evolution and patting ourselves on the back i feel a little stagnant.
The propgress up until about the 60s made sense to most.
We had reached a level of civilisation where as far as anyone is concerned the average individual has ample opportunity to form a comfortable life for themselves.
Since then technology has been running rampant, ruining real social interaction and allowing people to do all the things they used to have to leave their house for in front of the computer.
Then Ginsberg and his posse of beatniks brought creative evolution back to the table and ushered in the hippie era, which was sadly hijacked and manipulated into the dirty stereotype we see today..
But all this progress is an illusion. There is no change. We're living in some sort of weird eschatological hiatus while the people who rig the game try to send out for new batteries or something.
I don't know what's going on.
There's energy for change building.
I think that when it ultimately comes it will be fairly spectacular. It's astonishing actually the way in which change has been halted. Everyone is running around saying "change change change" but on the other hand there is a curious sense in which things have become eerily dreamlike and still, while we just teeter on the edge of the end of history; and the same personalities, the same design elements, everything has looked the same in the galleries for twenty years. There is an eerie suspension.
We go on and on about progress but nothing has changed in the last few decades...people aren't any happier or any closer to working out what the fuck is going on..
The Consumerism bubble provides social insulation so when we hear about the problems in all other area's of the world we can say 'yeah what're you gonna do' and return to watching big brother.
Modern institutions depend on the transmission of a certain world view and then willing acquiescense in the truth of that world view by the populations into which it is being exported.It's like there's a kind of cultural brainwashing is necessary for modern cultures to work at all. The consequences of the acceptance of this situation is further acceleration toward catastrophe.
We live a world where people of privilege defend that privilege with tremendous establishments of armament and propaganda and the rest of the world slips into poverty, starvation, desparation and death.
This is the kind of world that rationalists fear, and it's also the only kind of world they can imagine because they are bankrupt of inspiration and ideas.
So the entire effort of the Establishment has become one of holding down panic, keeping the ball in play, keeping ordinary people and ordinary populations quiescent through drugs which are not psychedelic, through forms of media which are not transcendental and inspiring, but which are narcoleptic and deadening.
And all of it to maintain this farce of human achievement.
Asking any person what the world will be like in 20 years is going to result in a different answer every time..The apocalypse has arrived in major portions of the planet and it's only because we live within a bubble of incredible privilege and social insulation that we still have the luxury of anticipating the apocalypse whilst people in the third world face it every day.
20years...A new spiritual awakening is occurring in human culture, an awakening brought about by a critical mass of individuals who experience their lives as a spiritual unfolding, a journey in which we are led forward by mysterious coincidences
This awakening represents the creation of a new, more complete worldview, which replaces the 500 year old preoccupation with seecular survival and comfort.
While this technological preoccupation was an important step, our awakening to life coincidences is opening us up to the real purpose of human life on this planet and the real nature of our universe.
We now experience that we live not in a material universe but in a universe of dynamic energy. Everything extant is a field of sacred energy that we can sense and intuit. Moreover humans can project our energy by focusing our attention in the desired direction influencing other energy systems and increasing the pace of coincidences.
Too often humans cut themselves off from the greater source of this energy and so feel weak and insecure. Hence the manipulation and intimidation of others begins so we get attention and then energy. This competition (fear) for human energy(love) is the cause of all conflict between people.
The propgress up until about the 60s made sense to most.
We had reached a level of civilisation where as far as anyone is concerned the average individual has ample opportunity to form a comfortable life for themselves.
Since then technology has been running rampant, ruining real social interaction and allowing people to do all the things they used to have to leave their house for in front of the computer.
Then Ginsberg and his posse of beatniks brought creative evolution back to the table and ushered in the hippie era, which was sadly hijacked and manipulated into the dirty stereotype we see today..
But all this progress is an illusion. There is no change. We're living in some sort of weird eschatological hiatus while the people who rig the game try to send out for new batteries or something.
I don't know what's going on.
There's energy for change building.
I think that when it ultimately comes it will be fairly spectacular. It's astonishing actually the way in which change has been halted. Everyone is running around saying "change change change" but on the other hand there is a curious sense in which things have become eerily dreamlike and still, while we just teeter on the edge of the end of history; and the same personalities, the same design elements, everything has looked the same in the galleries for twenty years. There is an eerie suspension.
We go on and on about progress but nothing has changed in the last few decades...people aren't any happier or any closer to working out what the fuck is going on..
The Consumerism bubble provides social insulation so when we hear about the problems in all other area's of the world we can say 'yeah what're you gonna do' and return to watching big brother.
Modern institutions depend on the transmission of a certain world view and then willing acquiescense in the truth of that world view by the populations into which it is being exported.It's like there's a kind of cultural brainwashing is necessary for modern cultures to work at all. The consequences of the acceptance of this situation is further acceleration toward catastrophe.
We live a world where people of privilege defend that privilege with tremendous establishments of armament and propaganda and the rest of the world slips into poverty, starvation, desparation and death.
This is the kind of world that rationalists fear, and it's also the only kind of world they can imagine because they are bankrupt of inspiration and ideas.
So the entire effort of the Establishment has become one of holding down panic, keeping the ball in play, keeping ordinary people and ordinary populations quiescent through drugs which are not psychedelic, through forms of media which are not transcendental and inspiring, but which are narcoleptic and deadening.
And all of it to maintain this farce of human achievement.
Asking any person what the world will be like in 20 years is going to result in a different answer every time..The apocalypse has arrived in major portions of the planet and it's only because we live within a bubble of incredible privilege and social insulation that we still have the luxury of anticipating the apocalypse whilst people in the third world face it every day.
20years...A new spiritual awakening is occurring in human culture, an awakening brought about by a critical mass of individuals who experience their lives as a spiritual unfolding, a journey in which we are led forward by mysterious coincidences
This awakening represents the creation of a new, more complete worldview, which replaces the 500 year old preoccupation with seecular survival and comfort.
While this technological preoccupation was an important step, our awakening to life coincidences is opening us up to the real purpose of human life on this planet and the real nature of our universe.
We now experience that we live not in a material universe but in a universe of dynamic energy. Everything extant is a field of sacred energy that we can sense and intuit. Moreover humans can project our energy by focusing our attention in the desired direction influencing other energy systems and increasing the pace of coincidences.
Too often humans cut themselves off from the greater source of this energy and so feel weak and insecure. Hence the manipulation and intimidation of others begins so we get attention and then energy. This competition (fear) for human energy(love) is the cause of all conflict between people.
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