Hey citizens, look over there, it's another disctraction

A survey conducted by survey conductors, Hun and Backdoor, has found eighty percent of Australians are in full support of global free trade and advocate a transition to a single global currency by the year 2020.

It was also found most people approve of World Bank and International Monetary Bank efforts to develop remote regions of the world as yet untouched by the West for the benefit of indigenous populations, and advocate the immediate vigorous military suppression of opposition anywhere to peace, freedom, and/or democracy.

However, the survey, with a sample of four besuited CEOs and a guy in a koala costume, also revealed twenty percent of Australian citizens believe that there's hot summers ahead and a big war a-coming, and hold grave concerns for the imminent future of Australia, human civilisation, and all living things whilst the aforementioned 80% maintained their concern for inflation and interest rates though simultaneously expressed significant interest in maintaining ridgid defence policies regardless of costs, which was odd considering their lack of worry for civilisation itself.




Recently the Government was busy playing down reports the United States military intends to test new 'smart' bomb technology in Australia's Northern Territory, as part of the development of three new joint US-Australian military bases there. The mere mention of the prospect of tests in Australia by a US official is enough for the press to assume the Australian Government has automatically acceded to the 'request'.

It is an unenviable position. In the recent Australian election, the Opposition were wary of employing Australian independence from the United States as a significant point of difference from the Government. A plausible argument could be mounted the issue is important enough to many Australians to have substantially influenced the poll in the ALP's favour.



It's likely to become a more influential issue before the next election, following today's announcement. But during the election campaign last month the simple utterance of the word 'anti-American' from the Government, a simplistic and refutable accusation, was enough to see the Opposition cut and run. Now just what are our representatives doing to prepare us for such threats to our independence?

Let us generously assume for the moment they're actually gravely concerned with the nation's long-term strategic interests.

Bush's re-election as controller of the global empire suggests we must move swiftly, if for nothing else than to rid ourselves of the vapid stench encompassing our current position wedged up his ass..

After extensive research it has been suggested that the bastard love child of Mr Sheen and Mr Garrison and his Machiavellian footsoldiers are already stockpiling farming equipment in preperation for a pre emptive attack on the US, despite the fact we purchased the 'farming equipment' from them originally and continue our public praise of their global initiatives, whatever they may be.

Speculation on when the Government plans to begin actual military action against the US is rife in Canberra in the wake of the American Presidential election, which many believe has ushered in a dangerous new period of global religious and ideological conflict.

But analysts suggest prudent members of Cabinet will prevail in delaying substantial action until a significant stockpile of weapons can be developed enabling the Australian Defence Force to take on the far larger United States military in what is likely to become open combat in the streets of Washington.

It's posited by experts this period of accumulation and stockpiling could last somewhere between 3 and 800 years, meaning we could see an attack as early as 2009..however as part of our covert strategy the Australian Government appears intent on continuing to publicly encourage the imperial exploits of the US in distant lands across the world, in a clever strategy aimed at spreading the mighty American armies thinly, rendering them vulnerable to attack.

But alas, the survey has spoken, everything is fine, people are happy..we go on wilfully participating in the democratic facade that, along with material trinkets, alleviates in many hearts and minds the growing suspicion they're being farmed. Election time rolls around every now and then and up come the puppets.. The election itself is a frivolous ordeal, with internal bickering continuing within the massive hegemonic LibLab party. Two virtually indistinguishable executive teams from different wings of LibLab have paraded for six weeks around the country, delivering ad nauseum the messages prepared for them by equally indistinguishable teams of party PR merchants.

The message of these besuited political executives, Latham, Howard, Beazley, Costello, Abbott, is crafted as instruction for the Australian people, on the crumbs and new privations looming in the future. The promise inherent in the rhetoric is directed elsewhere - to the multinationals, the corporate masters. The line is familiar.

Belts will be titled, profit margins maintained.

Taxes will remain low and workers easily obtained.

We will be competitive, economical, effective.

Growth will continue to improve.

The people farm will prosper.

And we reach the irony: after a regular milking, through taxes, labour, superannuation, the starvation of education and health funding, and the denudation of infrastructure, the systematic erosion of the generous and careless local culture, once every three years the cattle are herded past scrutineers and into cardboard booths, called upon to endorse the graziers and dairymen in a triannual, ceremonial gesture of submission.

What an odd distraction all that talk of war was..