Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Titilating Tidbits

In Nuttyfudgenews Saddam Hussein has been sentanced to death by hanging.

George W Bush reportedly referred to this decision as "Victory against Jelousy"...

Upon conferring with his advisors he retracted the statement and restated that the decision was actually a victory against terror..

Terror was unavailable for comment at the time this went to press.


In entertainment news Rapper Snoop Dogg was booked today on one felony count of possession of a deadly weapon, a charge filed after security officers at a California airport found a collapsible bong in the entertainer's carry-on luggage.





Australia's greatest excuse to dress like a dandy pretetious aristocrat is a go go today but a hoof injury to early Melbourne Cup favourite Tawqeet has thrown the betting race wide open, with the European stayer Yeats becoming the favourite with Centrebet this morning.
According to one witness Tawqeet was out gallavanting last night with fellow racers and could be seen fumbling with a Teddy Bear throughout the evening that may or may not have contained several tons of Cocaine.
Tawqeet was seen leaving the club in a state of dissaray with the cocaine filled bear under one hoof and Ryan Phillipe under the other.


According to the fabricated colourful bog roll that is New Idea this was Ryan's fault.

The shit rag also informed us that Australias resident irate of verbal cancer Kyle Sandilands has just gotten engaged, and no sooner was the baseball-sized rock on his fiancee's finger than the NI photo crew was in the couple's home giving Kyle a perfect forum in which to exercise his ego

"The ring did cost more than the Mercedes I bought Tamara for Christmas," he admits most meekly. "I wanted it to be over the top."

Apart from sharing tales of pre-connubial bliss, Kyle gives us the soul destroying news that he hopes to be a "top Hollywood director" one day.
He has already "created" a "gritty street-drama film script" which is in development talks in Los Angeles, much like crack cocaine the musical and big brother: interspecies erotica.



On the international scale again there have been reports of millions of dollars worth of U.S supplied weapons missing in Iraq, though the Pentagon is confident 'they will turn up' and
9 out of 10 people think George W Bush is equally as, if not more, dangerous as Kim Jong-Il, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Robert Gabriel Mugabe combined but prefer him as drinking buddy due to cultural bias..

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