They air thrush ads much earlier these days. The mention of love and devotion prior to breaching the topic failed to cause me to vacate the room and as a result at approximately...uh, dinner time, I'm confronted with a request to discuss vaginal itching. Not only that, but it is followed by a commercial for ky warming lube..well being the concerned social shepperd I've learnt to be from old people, i promptly began complaining to whoever was within earshot.
When it became apparent that the only individual in said range was my dog i phoned channel 7 to voice my displeasure.
"Yes I'm aware these things exist in our world but I'm quite happy in my cotton wool thankyou. Do not inform me of the less appealing aspects of life when I'm pretending to win a million dollars from Eddie putmyselfoneveryshow Macguire. I've got interest rates to worry about consarnit."
As i was actually watching channel 9 at the time the 7 lady was quite muffed at the torrent of obscure abuse i was sending her way. But then i would be too upon answering the phone to a slightly baked viewer ranting and raving about keeping such debaucherous topis as lubricant and vaginas off our goddammed television sets.
I hung up the phone pleased with the contribution I'd made towards ensuring a healthy society for my children to grow up in.
Then i wrote to the telegraph ensuring the whole nation would be in an uproar by morning
Piers Ackerman stole my damn storym, substituted vagina with Muslims and turned it into his usual slanderous tripe...the ignorant bastard.
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