Jaded Cynical and Apathetic, the E generation

This is old, but i think it's more applicable to clubbing now than ever before....especially in Australia


-You snicker when you hear someone say "PLUR".
-You think phat pants are heavy and unpractical.
-You refrain from dancing unless the circle is of rather large dimensions.
-When you do dance, you "battle".
-You learn to spin, and therefore have graduated to the "superior rave status".
-You find out just how crooked promoters really are.
-You hate massives.
-You blame candy kids for everything retarded in the scene.
-You say "the scene" a lot.
-You find out how much better European electronic music really is.
You find out that glow sticks were cool TEN years ago in the UK.
-You have pretended to be rolling at a party just to get a quick laugh out of your friends.
-When you ARE on E, you do your best to act normal.
-You realize how cool Drum n' Bass is.
-You realize how lame progressive trance is.
-You find out that American DJ's are completely overrated.
-You have close friends who don't give a fuck about raving.
-You think that maybe YOU don't really give a fuck either.
-The smell of Vicks makes you physically sick.
-You can't help but laugh when someone tries to give you a "glow stick show".
-You learn to break.
-If you want to actually "roll," you have to eat about four pills at once.
-You can get those four pills for the same price that everyone else pays for one.
-The bartenders know you by name and have your drink ready for you...
-You drink beer at after parties.
-You quit collecting fliers.
-You have unsubscribed from your rave mailing list, because "none of those fucking little kids understand a thing about raving, dammit!"
-You can't remember the last time you went to a party and didn't think it sucked.
-You can't remember much in general.
-You realize that ravers aren't nearly as genuine as the hippies were.
-You wouldn't mind if that kid with the whistle accidentally swallowed it and died.
-You are actually called by your real name.
-You realize that the general public shouldn't be blamed for hating raves..
-You talk shit as much as possible.
-You value things in terms of vinyl, (ex: "that's an eight record pair of pants.")
-You DESPISE Happy Hardcore.
-You DESPISE candy.
-You have seen a thirteen year old "raver" on ecstasy and felt like leaving the party because of it.
-You know what a 303 is.
-You no longer feel the need to advertise your "rave-ness" to the world.
-You haven't said the word 'rave' in a good few years and dislike being associated with the word, but you know what you are.
-You realize shell toes are shitty shoes.
-You can't count how many pairs you have owned.
-You know that post-rave sex is awful
-You've punted kids who tried to get in a circle that were outta their league.
-You can determine where a raver is from just by the way they dance.
-You find out that underground parties still happen quite frequently, despite what 98% of the raving populous thinks.
-You party sober and now understand how stupid you looked when you didn't.
-You know who PRODUCED your favorite tracks, not just which DJ bought it and put it on a mix CD.
-You read URB.
-You have daydreams that involve the Telletubies and a old rusty chainsaw.
-Your parents gave up on you becoming normal a long, long time ago.
-You know why GHB and special K are for fucking idiots.
-You understand electro and minimal techno now, or at least you think you do.
-You hate rave ho's.
-You could out-dance any boy band, any day, while smoking a cigarette.
-You notice how often big DJ's blow mixes.
-You think sweaty guys who run around the party shirtless should get thrown out.
-You act like a punk-ass bitch to security, police, and any other authority.
-You purposely wear way too much clothing to parties, because you know that dancing in a big zipper fleece looks fucking ill.
-You say "ill" a lot.
-You have replaced Caffeine, JNCO, and Adidas with Technic, Vestax, and JBL.
-You know that raving is all about the music, but RAVERS are not.
-You find the jungle room much more appealing now.
-You can actually dance to jungle.
-You hate funky house and NOVA.
-You laugh out loud when you walk into Cafe Innermezzo and they're playing jungle and D&B.
-You get angry when you see guys from your high school football team at a party.
-You know raving is mainstream as fuck.
-The bigger the flier, the less you want to go to the party.
-You can retell the story of how raving came to Australia quite accurately.
-You hate Anthem tracks.
-Your sleeping, and eating habits are completely fucked up.
-You sit around with friends and tell old kick on stories and get a slight shock when you actually realise how old the story is.
-You are midly suprised that you're still alive.



The ancient cynics lived by their word....
Modern jaded yippies with seretonin depletion and a borrowed opinion do not...